Monkey in the Middle

Words and music by John Boydston

I woke up today, after sleeping so sound
There didn’t seem to be anyone around
But when I got up I had a big scare
There was a monkey in the middle of my easy chair
He said I didn’t come to watch T.V.
I came to see if you would dance with me

(I said H-m-m-m-, that depends on things)

He said we can the two-step or do-se-do
Or we can do the pony or we can limbo
It really doesn’t matter, we can do the twist
What about the watusi, that’s high on my list
I said wait just a minute, what about the monkey?
He I said I thought you’d never ask, now let’s get funky

Hey c’mon
Everybody
C’mon Everyone
Let’s dance a little
I’ll be the monkey in the middle

I said for a monkey, you’re really non-committal
He said, that’s why they call me
the monkey in the middle
I’m the best dancer, it’s really true
But I bet you’re a great dancer too
So go get your mom, and maybe your sis,
Cause when I dance, I boogie
and it goes like this:

(pause for serious dancing)

We met the giraffe, he was up in my room
Then the monkey introduced me to Mr. Moon
We talked for a while he had smile on his lips
But he told me he was worried about the eclipse
He said, suddenly I’m not half the moon I used to be.
(…there’s a shadow hanging over me)

He said c’mon
Everybody
C’mon Everyone
Let’s dance a little
I’ll be the monkey in the middle

So we danced all around and we danced in place
Next thing I know we were flying through space
We saw all the planets, Venus and Mars,
Mercury and Jupiter and all of the stars
I had so much fun, flying along
And when I got back home I wrote down this song

He said c’mon
Everybody
C’mon Everyone
Let’s dance a little
I’ll be the monkey in the middle

©2000, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

Words and music by John Boydston
I’m having a birthday
I hope that you can come
I’m gonna be one year older
I know that we’ll have fun
I’m getting ready for my birthday
Buying all the stuff
Ice cream and cake and party hats
Do you think we bought enough?

I can’t wait til’ my birthday
It’s gonna be the best
We’ll play games, sing some songs
Gonna be better than the rest

(yeah we’re going to a party party)

Everybody’s here, we’re together
I’m glad that you’re my friend
We’re having more fun than a barrel of Monkeys,
wish it didn’t have to end

This year’s party was my best ever
I’m glad that you could come
We stayed inside because of the weather
didn’t’ seem to matter none

So thanks for coming to my birthday
Thanks for coming to my birthday party
Thanks for coming to my birthday
Thanks for coming to my birthday party

©2000 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

Words and music by John Boydston
“It’s hard to be a kid.
Especially when you do what I did
How was I to know?
That peanut butter wouldn’t help my hair grow
It’s hard to be a child
Especially when you’re naturally wild
How was I to know
That you have to wear clothes wherever you go?

It’s hard to be a kid
It’s hard to be a kid
it’s fun to be a kid
But its hard to be a kid

Well I try to behave,
But I forget
Like the time I got my grandma soaking wet

I try to be good
Every chance I get
I try to remember not to forget

It’s hard to be a kid,
Especially when you do what I did.
How was I to know?
I shouldn’t write down all the words I know
On the kitchen wall,
All the way across and down the hall
I thought that it was cool
Colorful and permanent markers too

It’s hard to be a kid
It’s hard to be a kid
it’s fun to be a kid
But its hard to be a kid

(repeat chorus)

©2000, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

Words and music by John Boydston

“You know I woulda, and I shoulda,
but I didn’t know that I coulda
its too late, to de-bate, but next time I’ll try

You know I woulda, and I coulda,
but who woulda thought that I shoulda
Next time, oh yeah time, maybe I will

Never say coulda, shoulda, woulda, it’s just a waste of time
Just do gooda, when you shoulda, and try to keep it mind

(guitar break)

You know I woulda, and I shoulda,
but I didn’t know that I coulda
its too late, to de-bate, but I’ll try and do gooda

Never say woulda, coulda, shoulda,
don’t say woulda shoulda coulda woulda should
Just say next time, oh yeah next time,
I’ll do my best to be good

Don’t say woulda, coulda shoulda, cause it’s a waste of time
Just do gooda, when you shoulda, try to keep it in mind

©2000 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

Words and music by John Boydston

You’re not the bossa nova me
You can’t tell me what to do
You can’t say that I’ve been bad
Because you’re not my mom and dad

You’re not my uncles or my aunts
So please don’t call me smarty pants
You can’t tell me how to be
Because you’re not the bossa me

(bridge)

Stop doing everything I do
Or else I’m gonna tell on you
I’m gonna go and tell your mom
You’ll get in big trouble too

Stop saying everything I say
Stop going everywhere I go
You better just let me be
Cause you’re not the bossa me

(bridge)

You can’t say that I been bad
Because you’re not my mom and dad
You can’t tell me how to be
You’re not the bossa nova me

©2000 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

Written by Eugene Kelly & Frances McKee (The Vaselines)

“She said
She’ll take us anywhere
She’ll take us everywhere
And it will be fun

She said
She’ll take us to the zoo
We’ll go to Timbuktu
And we’ll hear the Byrds

Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips

She said
She’ll take us to the pool
That we could act real cool
And then we go dry off

She said
she’ll take us to the park
that we could stay til dark
And she’ll stay with me

Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips

She said
She’ll take us to the fair
We’ll walk all over there
And it will be free

She said
that it might rain today
She’ll take us anyway
And we can wear boots

Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips
Kiss Kiss Mommy’s Lips

©1992, and published by EMI Music Publishing, Ltd., and Complete Music Ltd.

Words and music by John Boydston

I wake in the morning grab my shoes
Gotta get going gotta pay my dues
I gotta make like a tree, I gotta leave
Because the girls I know are always chasing me

I’m in my classroom, trying to learn
I hear em talking and my ears start to burn
I gotta run, I gotta fly like a bee
Because the girls I know are always chasing me

I don’t know what I can do, maybe I can call a cop
I’m so tired of running now, I wish that they’d just stop

Laurie and Katie, Elizabeth does it too
Elly and Donna, and here comes Sweet Old Sue
I think I’m in trouble cause I just lost my shoe

Someday I’ll be glad they want me, according to my pop.
He says son, when you get older, you won’t want em to stop

Well, I thought about it
Maybe my dad was right
Maybe I should put up such a fight
Now I’m thinking its all right, by me
Yeah, now I’m hoping those girs won’t stop chasing me
Hear that girls? Please don’t stop chasing me

©2000 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

Words and music by John Boydston & Walt Brewer

“Well the farmer takes the soil
And pushes it round
Makes sure that all the weeds
Are pulled from the ground
He takes out the seed
And he plants them in rows
Covers up em with dirt so they’re warm now
When the cold wind blows

Hoo Hoo, Thank The Farmer
Hoo Hoo, Thank The Farmer
Hoo Hoo, Thank The Farmer
Hoo Hoo, Thank The Farmer

He give the seeds little love, a little water
And they shoot up real high
Keeps all the birds and bugs away
So they can reach for the sky
Cuts em down when the time is right
And loads them on a truck
Brings them into town to the market
So we can eat em right up

That’s how we get our carrots and tomatoes
And all the lettuce and the beans
That’s where we get the corn and potatoes
You know what I mean

I said,
Hoo Hoo, Thank The Farmer
Hoo Hoo, Thank The Farmer
Hoo Hoo, Thank The Farmer
Hoo Hoo, Thank The Farmer

©2000 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

(Instrumental)

Written by Harold Hopper
“Well there’s a zebra in the kitchen, uh-uh
A tiger on the roof
There are baby bears in ice cream
I’m not kidding it’s the truth
Yessir believe you me
That’s a Chimpanzee you see
Looking at TV

There’s a camel on the garden
There’s an ostrich on the walk
There’s a mountain lion in a phone booth
And I bet you he can talk
What’s more I do declare
That’s a bike you’re seeing there
Ridden by a bear

Well you won’t wake up
Cause it isn’t a dream
The things you see are as real as they seem
They just don’t like being locked in a zoo
They wanna live like the people folk do

There are monkeys lots of monkey
In a corner toy store
There’s an elephant moving water
From the bathtub to the floor
Don’t chase them all away
All they wanna do is play
On their Holiday

Well you won’t wake up
Cause it isn’t a dream
The things you see are as real as they seem
They just don’t like being locked in a zoo
They wanna live like the people folk do

There’s a zebra in the kitchen, uh-uh
A tiger on the roof
There are baby bears eating ice cream
I’m not kidding it’s the truth
Yessir’ believe you me
That’s a chimpanzee you see
Looking at TV

©1965 published by EMI Music Publishing

Words and music by John Boydston & Walt Brewer

“Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Banana. Banana who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Banana. Banana who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Banana. Banana who?

Knock Know. Who’s there?
Boo. Boo Hoo?
Knock Know. Who’s there?
Boo. Boo Hoo?
Knock Know. Who’s there?
Boo. Boo Hoo?
Well, you don’t have to cry about it

Knock Knock. Who’s There?
Little Old Lady. Little Old Lady who?
Knock Knock. Who’s There?
Little Old Lady. Little Old Lady who?
Knock Knock. Who’s There?
Little Old Lady. Little Old Lady who?
From now on there’ll be no more yodeling on this song.

Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Radio. Radio who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Radio. Radio who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Radio. Radio who?
Radio not, here I come.

Knock Knock. Who’s there?
William. William who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
William. William who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
William. William who?
William mind your own business?

Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Yah. Yah who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Yah. Yah who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Yah. Yah who?
Ya’ll having a party in there?
Well look out, I’m coming in.

Knock Knock Who’s there?
Banana. Banana who?
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Orange. Orange who?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Awwwwww dad!!!

©2000 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

Words and music by John Boydston

I got a Pokemon Fever
Must be a hundred and fifty
My parents they don’t understand
I really think its nifty

I gotta catch em
I gotta get em all
I gotta use my little, Poke ball
It’s a big mystery, I want to solve
We gotta get em before they start to evolve

I got a Pokemon Fever
Can’t get em outta my head
I like to take em everywhere
I even take em to bed
I gotta catch em
I gotta get em all
I gotta use my
Little Poke-ball
It’s a big mystery I want to solve
We gotta get em before they start to evolve

I got a Pokey man Fever
Must be 150
My parents they don’t like it much
I really think its nifty

I gotta catch em
I gotta get em all
I gotta use my little, Pokey-ball

It’s a big mystery, I want to solve
We gotta get em before they start to evolve

We got a Pokemon Fever
We got a Pokemon Fever
We got a Pokemon Fever
We got a Pokemon Fever

©2000 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Records

(Instrumental)

(Instrumental)