Mojo A Go Go (Real Rock for Kids)

Words and music by John Boydston

I can’t
Get up
And outta bed today
Guess I might have to miss a little school
C’mon now whatdaya say?
Well, there’s something going ‘round
That maybe I got
Cause I don’t feel so good a lot
And I don’t wanna go to school today.

You know its way too dark
And its way too cold
I don’t wanna go to school
I really hate to rush into anything
Maybe we should play it cool
Can’t you come back in another hour?
I’ll take my bed and I’ll take my shower
I don’t wanna go to school today

Oi Vey –
I say –
I don’t think I can
I know I stayed up too late again
But don’t misunderstand
Yeah I got a stomach ache, and I got a fever
Come on my now — won’t you be a believer?
Cause I don’t wanna go to school today
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba
I don’t wanna go to school
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba
I don’t wanna go to school

©2004, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston
“(Mensch – n. Yiddish for a person having very admirable characteristics)

We never pick our nose
We never make a burp
When we finish our drink
You’ll never hear us slurp

We change our underwear
Even when they’re barely dirty
We don’t make fun of people
Just because they’re over 30.

We never argue with you
We’ll never see you in court
We’ll never call you a shrimp
Even though you’re pretty short

We take out the trash
Never mind the stensch
We’ll never ask for cash
Now “Are we not mensch?”

Are we not mensch?
Are we not mensch now?
I said are we not mensch?
Are we not mensch?

We make good grades,
Because we study
We know its OK to be smart
We want everyone
To know it won’t be easy,
The best laid plans of mice and mensch
Get off the bench and be a mensch

We do the right thing because
We know it’s the right thing to do
But there’s nothing big about us
You can be a mensch too

Do you think you could?
Help somebody in a pinch?
You gotta ask yourself
Are you a mouse or a mensch?

Are we not mensch?
Are we not mensch?
I said are we not mensch
Are we not mensch now?

(repeat)

©2003 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston

“Now when I get up, I don’t wanna make my bed
I got a million other things I’d rather do instead
But I can hear a voice ringing in the back of my head
Telling me I gotta work like my mama said
I can hear my mama saying “Do the Chores”
Sometimes with drama she says “Sweep the Floors”
When I’m done she says “Do some more”
Its no fun when she says “Do the Chores”
Its all I ever hear
and it takes me all year
I can’t take it anymore
Do the chores

Do the chores
Mop the floors
Get the broom
Clean the room
Make your bed
Like I said
Do the chores

I scrub the tub
I clean the sink
What’s inside there?
I don’t wanna think
Talk about dirt
I guess we gotta lotta
I tried an alibi
Diddly squatta
Seems like its all I ever do
Try to get rid of goo
But I don’t wanna do chores no more

How come I gotta make my bed anyway (make your bed)
When I’m just gonna mess it up again tonight (like I said)
What’s wrong if just once in a while (Pick up your clothes)
My clothes stay in a big old pile? (Go get the hose)
I’ll go the extra mile but I don’t have to smile
Cause doing chores ain’t my style

Do the chores
Mop the floors
Get the broom
and dust the room
Scrub that tub
Don’t be a schlub
Do the chores

Let me have that megaphone for a minute, I got something to say here

Don’t wanna mow the yard
No more chores
You know its really too hard
No more floors
Don’t wanna rake the leaves
Got out and play
You know it gives me the heaves
All day
Take out the trash — gives me a rash
I don’t wanna do the chores.

©2003 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston

I got a call today from Eddie and he said hey
Did you know that we’re playing at the Battle of the Bands tonight?
I said Whoa, I didn’t know,
but I sure wanna go — can you put me on the list, can you use some extra hands tonight?
I can’t believe it but I’m going to Battle of the Bands
I can’t wait until the Battle of the Bands

25-bands like the Nosey Parkers, the Psychedelic Toasters and the Bentwood Rockers.
They got the hooks and the looks and the brand new clothes,
and the gothic band strikes and Edgar Allen Pose
All of the bands wanna make a little splash tonight
And all of the bands wanna win a little cash tonight

Everybody’s here
From all over town
Waiting for the music
To turn bring it around
The crowd goes crazy when the lights go down

(Crowd noise/Announcer) Everything seems to be ready, ladies and gentlemen, are you ready? Well too bad because the band’s not ready. Just kidding. Ladies and Gentlemen, a big hand for The Sasha Foo Fighters.)

Everybody’s going to the Battle of the Bands tonight
Everybody’s getting down at the Battle of the Bands tonight
Everybody’s going to the Battle of the Bands tonight
Everybody say allright — for the Battle of the Bands Alright

©2004 (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston

Here’s a song about cowboy
Who was afraid everythang
He was even afraid of the telephone
Especially when it rang
He was called the scaredy cat cowboy
cause he was afraid of cats
and he never could go to the opera — because he was afraid, mortified,
petrified, really scared, that if he went to the opera, the fat lady would sing
and then she’d come over cover, sit on him
and squish him.

He couldn’t ride a horse
He was afraid they would bite him
and he never had a pen pal
He was afraid they might write him
He never wore his boxers
He was afraid they might hit him
And he never bought new clothes
he was afraid they might not fit him

He was afraid of his spurs
And the noise they made
He was afraid of sunshine
He was afraid of the shade

He was afraid to use deodorant
He was afraid he’d smell weird
He was afraid to shave his face
afraid to grow a beard

He was afraid to take a bath
He was afraid to go to school
He was always afraid to laugh
In case it wasn’t cool

He was afraid to sleep
Afraid he’d wake up dead
But his BIGGEST fear of all, was that one day, he’d wake up, and find out that after all these years, his name was really Fred.
(not that there’s anything wrong with that)\
Now whatever happened to this cowboy?
Well, I’m afraid we’re going to find out.
So standby for Part 2 of the Ballad of the Scaredy Cat Cowboy, in
1, 2, 3, 4.

©2004, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston

He was the scaredy cat cowboy
Cause he ran like a rabbit
And he never told a secret
He was afraid somebody would blab it
And he couldn’t talk to people
And he’d never even try
He was afraid if he said hello
Somebody would say goodbye

He had a fear of music
And I’m gonna tell you what
He was afraid to play the bongos
He was afraid they’d call him bongo butt

He was afraid of the Bee Gees
When they came on the radio
They gave him the Hee Bee Jee Bees
Cause they couldn’t rock and they couldn’t roll.

Then one day came a hurricane
a twister and a quake
The wind it roared and blew so hard
everything started to shake

So the cowboy ran for cover
he figured the end was near
But When it was over he looked around,
and he saw the coast was clear

He said Hmmm
That wasn’t so bad
If I can survive all that –
How come I’m worried about little bitty cow,
Or a chicken, or a rabbit, or even that
Big old hairy monster hiding under by bed?

And then after that day
he stopped being afraidy
Instead of shivering and shakin’
He’d say ‘Come on now bring it on baby.’

Now he could talk to people
That he met on the range
He didn’t feel weird anymore
and he didn’t feel strange

Now he could ride with his herd
And chase down a stray
He’d yell ‘Who’s your Daddy’
And Yippy Ti Yo Ti Yay

©2004, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tune

Words and music by Richard L. Holler and Phil Gernhard

After the turn of the century
In the clear blue skies over Germany
Came a roar and a thunder men had never heard
Like the scream and the sound of a big war bird
Up in the sky, a man in a plane
Baron von Richthofen was his name
Eighty men tried, and eighty men died
Now they’re buried together on the countryside

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more
The Bloody Red Baron was rollin’ out the score
Eighty men died tryin’ to end that spree
Of the Bloody Red Baron of Germany

In the nick of time, a hero arose
A funny-looking dog with a big black nose
He flew into the sky to seek revenge
But the Baron shot him down — “”Curses, foiled again!”"

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more
The Bloody Red Baron was rollin’ out the score
Eighty men died tryin’ to end that spree
Of the Bloody Red Baron of Germany

Now, Snoopy had sworn that he’d get that man
So he asked the Great Pumpkin for a new battle plan
He challenged the German to a real dogfight
While the Baron was laughing
He got him in his sight

That Bloody Red Baron was in a fix
He’d tried everything
But he’d run out of tricks
Snoopy fired once,
And he fired twice
And that Bloody Red Baron
Went spinning out of sight

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more
The Bloody Red Baron was rollin’ out the score
Eighty men died tryin’ to end that spree
Of the Bloody Red Baron of Germany

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more
The Bloody Red Baron was rollin’ out the score
Eighty men died tryin’ to end that spree
Of the Bloody Red Baron of Germany

©1967, Sanphil Music Company

Words and music by John Boydston

“When I think about the things just a few years before
that was so long ago when I was a kid, I can’t do em anymore
dance around the house and singing silly old tunes
Flying in a spaceship to the planet of the goons
Running down the street wearing nothing but my hat
Sure it was fun, but now I can’t do that no.
I’m too old for that
I’m too old for that
I’m too old for that
Yeah I’m too old for that

I’m a lot different than I used to be – back when I was four
I’m getting bigger but I’m still me…but not the same as before
I’m getting older – than I ever was
Sometimes I think that’s its because
I think a lot more than I ever used to did
Back in the day when I just ran and hid Yeah-ahhhh

Oh no, I’m too old for that
I’m too old for that
I’m too old for that
I’m too old for that

I’m kinda big, I’m kinda little, sometimes I think stuck in the middle
I’m Getting bigger, by the minute – trying to figure out what’s really in it for me

I’m too old for that
I’m too old for that
I’m too old for that
I’m too old for that

I asked my dad if I could drive the car
He said I’m too young for that
Then I asked my dad for a piggyback ride
He said He was too old for that
He says he’s getting older just like me
He can remember when he was thirty-three
Now he’s getting up there, who can count that high?
Maybe I can when I learn to multiply yeah

But for now — I’m too old for that
But I’m too old for that
But I’m too old for that
But I’m too old for that

©2004, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston

(several bags of potato chips were hurt during the writing of this song)

You know I wanted to write a really great rock and roll songs for this CD but I that day I was gonna do it, I ended up sitting on the couch and watching TV eating potato chips instead. It just seemed a lot easier.
But while I was doing that I had this idea for this song. Check it out.

On channel two we heard the news – great weather today
they said ‘Beautiful day in your neck of the woods! Go out and make it a good one.
Back after this.’

So we took a driver over the hill
In our brand new convertible
That’s right when we ran into the monsoon.
Now we know how much water our car will hold.
Its amazing.

Now the weatherman’s got a lot of machines
Big old computers and a big blue screen
I know he’s under a lot of barometric pressure.
I know he’s got the Doplar
But that’s not making him popular

But don’t blame the weatherman
And Don’t blame the weatherwoman either
I mean its not like, what are they like weather people?
Well, OK so they are.
But its not their fault if they call for sunshine for the next week
And it rains everyday for the next month
If you want to complain about the weather
You gotta talk to the big guy upstairs
I mean the really big guy.
yeah, that’s right Station Management.
Talk to them, but Don’t blame the Weatherman.

Hey I think this song’s really working out pretty well.
Let’s do a second verse, OK? Allright!!

On channel Four they look so nice
Talking about snow and talking ‘bout ice
They said get ready for the storm of the century
And Action Team Disaster Coverage you Can Count On.”

So they caused a panic, caused a stir
Shutdown the city, it was all a blur
They even shut down the schools,
Which nobody complained abou
except for Principal Chomsky,
And He was really mad

But come the morning
Barely a flake
I guess somebody
Made a mistake
Grandpa said
It was too much to take
He said back in his day
When the forecast called for snow
Dagnabit, it SNOWED!

I said Grandpa – don’t blame the weatherman.
Nobody’s right all the time.
It’s a hard job.

You know my dad says he wishes he could
Have a job where he could make all this money
And only have to be right like half the time.
And I say “Dad, you shoulda gone to college to be weatherman.”
Then I’d could say “Don’t blame my dad he’s the weatherman.
I mean, weather people are doing the best they can.
Just be glad they’re not doctors or mechanics.
Or what if they were the folks who came out to
Fix your cable TV – now then we’d have a problem.
Ooh, what if the weatherman was
Married to the weatherlady?
Now that wouldn’t that be cool…
Whenever something went wrong in their house
Nobody could blame anyone, because
You’re not supposed to blame the weatherman.
And don’t blame the weather people.

(c) 2003, BMI/Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Written by Vince Guaraldi, from the Charlie Brown Christmas TV Show

Words and music by John Boydston

“They’re getting noisy in Boise
They’re get loud in Wainright
They’re getting lost in Austin
They know who’s boss in Boston
They got Soul in the Hole
Down in Mussel Shoals
They know what it means
Down in New Orleans

They go Bezerkley by the Bay
out in California-ay-ay
And they can show you the way
Down to San Jose-

They’re lucky in Kentucky and FLA
Everybody rocking in the USA
I like the rhythym of a gitdown town
Where they dance to the music til the moon goes down

They like to kiss in Kissimme
They like to jump in Jackson – ville
They pop the cork up in New York
Man do those Catskill

They were born to boogie
Up in Chattanoogie
I like their Twangology
All over Tennessee

I heard they like a Little Rock
Out in Texarkana
And they’re Peach State Rockin’
From Atlanta to Savannah

You can take me back to Tulsa
This shouldn’t come as a shock
Cause I’m too young to marry
But not too young to rock
Yeah I’m too young to marry
But I’m not too young to rock
You’re never too young to rock
You’re never too young to rock

©2004, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston

(True story, Radio Disney said they’d book me for a show they were staging in Atlanta
if I promised not to perform this song – I said I didn’t know what they
were talking about, but no problem)

Hello, my name is Nigel, and I wrote poem
And I was hoping I could read it to you.
Could I do that? Good. It goes like this:
Radio Dizzy won’t you play my song?
I think its kinda catchy and its not too long.
Your radio station has lost its mojo,
All you gotta do is play some Daddy A Go Go.

Well, we listen to your station when we’re in our Ford
But after 5 minutes everybody’s completely bored
Radio Dizzy, Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe,
We need John and Paul and we need them now.

M and M’s ok but I like plain better than peanut
He should say it not spray it – and play it like he means it
We’ll change our names to Avril Lasagna
Or even Broccoli Spears if you’ll play our songs yeah.

We like to hear the funk, and soul and pop
And don’t forget punk, the rock and roll, and hip hop

I remember when radio used to be fun
But Radio Dizzy only plays the number ones.
Nothing but the hits getting me in a tizzy
Cause that’s all we’re hearing on Radio Dizzy

Thank You.

©2004, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston
(I knew Sasha when we both worked at CNN, and one day I was
wondering what happened to her)

“Where in the world is Sasha Foo?
I haven’t heard a word since 1992
Maybe she moved to Tierra Del Fuego
Maybe she’s hanging with Carmen San Diego
She used to talk to each other through my TV set
But we lost the remote and I haven’t found it yet
(where is that confounded remote?)
Whatever happened to Billy Boloney?
Last time I saw him he was riding on a pony
I heard he moved up to Montreal
Since that time he doesn’t write, doesn’t call
So I did a Google and it was hit or miss
Cause I found he changed his name to Bupkiss
(now he’s Bupkiss Baloney, works for me)

Whatever happened to Captain Kangaroo
Mr. Green Jeans and the bunny rabbit too
Grandfather Clock was really off the wall
And Mr. Moose with the ping pong balls

You know, that reminds me,
Whatever happened to old, what’s that guy, what was his name?
I don’t know.
You know that guy, he had the really big glasses.
No,
We used to hang out with him all the time.
Oh you mean?
Yeah Yeah, that’s the one, he had the glasses and the hair and he was always…
Oh you mean?
Right, what was his name?
Never heard of him.
Hey, I appreciate it, thank you.

Whatever happened to old what’s his name?
Since they been gone, things ain’t seemed the same
What in the world ever happened to you?
I think the same thing happened to me too.
What ever happened to your old Uncle Charley?
Last time I saw him he rode off on a big fat Harley,
Ride into the sunset, bye bye.

Where in in the world is Sasha Foo?
What in the world ever happened to you?
Nanananananananananana
Nanananananananananana

©2004, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

Words and music by John Boydston

“Grandpa says…
Everybody’s got a right
To pick and choose
Their own views
That’s what Grandpa says
And Grandpa says if
You snooze you lose
And he’s probably right
But how come Grandpa takes so many naps
Before goes to bed at night?

That’s what Grandpa does
And he says we’re gonna get older
Then we can do what the grandpas do, uh-huh, hey hey
I hope when I get older
That I can do what the grandpas do
Uh huh Hey Hey
And I can say what the grandpas say
Oh Hoh, whee hee
Bouncing a baby on your grandpa knee
And take everybody fishing

And I bet, when I get older I’ll be rocking in my rocking chair
And I’ll go out and get a haircut even though I don’t have any hair
Whoo-hoo

That’s what my grandpa says
And it usually goes
Unless my grandma says — NO!
That’s when grandpa says
‘now you listen to your grandmother.

©2004, (BMI) Boyd’s Tone Tunes

(Instrumental)

(My son Max put this song together when he was 10 and was learning to play the guitar, so I tagged it onto the CD)